Athlete’s Best Interests at the Core

A youth sports conflict & resolution communication framework that protects relationships and keeps the athlete at the center.

Section 1. Core Reminder (for all stakeholders)

A shared language for hard moments.

Every person involved from coaches, parents/guardians, athletes, and administrators wants what is best for the athlete. The athlete's long-term development, well-being, enjoyment, and growth are the shared priority.

PASS exists to protect that priority when conflict arises. Most issues can be resolved through direct, respectful conversation before they ever reach the court or field.

Section 2. Core Principles

What we hold to.

The athlete’s best interests come first in every conversation and decision

All stakeholders share the same goal: supporting the athlete

Relationships and the athlete’s experience matter more than any single disagreement

Emotion is normal; how we respond is a choice

Direct communication with the right person resolves most issues early

Escalate only after a genuine attempt at direct resolution

The bottom line

Decisions are hard, and some are harder than others. But when the athlete is at the center, it is always the right decision.

Section 3. The PASS Sequence

Four steps. Every time.

Work through the sequence in order, and keep the athlete at the center of every step.

Pause

Create space so the response serves the athlete, not the emotion of the moment.

Recognize rising emotion (in yourself or others)
Remember that everyone is human
Step back physically or verbally (“Let me think about that”)
Goal: lower intensity so the next steps can work

Ask

Invite the other person to discuss the situation so you can understand it together.

Ask the person if they can talk through what’s happening
Examples: “Can we talk about what happened?” / “I’d like to hear your thoughts on this.” / “Can we discuss how we work this out together?”
Goal: open a real conversation

State your view clearly while keeping the athlete’s development and experience at the center.

Use “I” language + observable facts + impact
Keep it concise and free of blame
Goal: give the other person a complete picture without escalating

Solve

Agree on next steps that prioritize the athlete’s well-being, growth, and continued enjoyment of the sport.

Agree on what will change and by when
Define success and any follow-up
Document if needed (especially for admins)
Goal: leave with a shared plan, not just a conversation

Section 4. Priority Conflict Scenarios

When to make the PASS.

Playing time and role assignments

Coaching decisions or philosophy disagreements

Sideline behavior and parent–coach interactions

Athlete-to-athlete conflicts or team dynamics

Safety, injury, and return-to-play concerns

Attendance, commitment, and scheduling issues

Perceived inequity, favoritism, or communication breakdowns

dON'T WAIT.

Use PASS any time emotions are rising, perspectives differ, or a decision affects an athlete's experience. If tension is building on a sideline, in a parent meeting, between teammates, or around playing time that's the cue to initiate the PASS.